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Have you checked your bags?

Writer's picture: ben nathanben nathan

I don’t mean the bags you take on holiday, I mean have you checked the bags you take into challenging conversations?


Yesterday I was coaching a group of senior managers and directors at a well-known automotive company. We were discussing the challenging conversations they were worried about and we delved into the baggage they were carrying into those conversations, and preventing a better outcome.


BAGS (Baggage, Assumptions, Goals and State) is a useful model I use with these types of scenarios, and it only takes a few minutes.


Before your next challenging conversation, ask yourself the following questions -


Baggage - How is the baggage I associate with this person (eg, past interactions, history of the relationship, reputation from others) stopping me have a better conversation? And what can I do to leave that unhelpful baggage outside the room?


Assumptions - What negative assumptions am I making about how the conversation will go? (Eg, this is going to go badly, they think I’m no good at my job) And what different assumptions can I set for a more positive mindset?


Goals - How realistic are the goals I’ve set for the meeting? And who do they serve? If I could set just one goal, that served both people, what would it be?


State - What physical state am I in? If I'm stressed, it’s likely shown in my face and body. And it starts with breath. Try the simple 4,7,8 breathing exercise (https://lnkd.in/eg4M9vRA) to calm nerves and put myself in a better place.


That's it.

Remember to check your BAGS.

And safe travels!


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